Welcome to the Quantum Bodhisattva!  My name is Cate.  My story is complex, but I will sum it up as best I can.

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Until recently, my whole world was abuse.  It seemed like everyone wanted to abuse me or treat me badly.  Why was I a target?

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One day, I had a spiritual awakening and realized I had never questioned who I was or why I was here.  What was life for?  What was this world?  A thirst awakened inside me and I began a journey in search of answers.

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I have always been a studier.  For whatever reason, I struggled to connect to others, so I turned to books to fill the void.  Whenever I questioned something, I'd turn to a book.   I began my search for answers with a book called "The Holographic Universe" by Michael Talbot.

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I had never considered any of the subject matter in the book.  I began to check sources.  I read about science, physics, the cosmos, and quantum physics.  I was told there was a link between quantum physics and buddhism, so I went to a Buddhist zen center in search of what connected spirituality to science.

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I learned to meditate.  I asked my questions and was given many book suggestions.  I began to read about Buddhism.  I was also paired with a teacher.  We began to strip away the layers between my consciousness and my true self.  I meditated for about a year, and then I unlocked memories of severe childhood abuse that I had buried away.

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I realized I'd been sexually abused by my father and his relations.  He had also trafficked me, beginning at the age of 5.  I became instantly suicidal and depressed.  I had to heal, or I would destroy myself.  I continued to work with my Buddhist teacher, I started to work with a counselor, I journaled every day, and I taught myself to bead weave to control the flow of memories.

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I studied trauma and began to understand why I'd been abused for so long.  I learned that we tend to repeat patterns until we can set them right.  My counselor was innovative and taught me many ways to process my trauma.  With time, I began to heal.

 

I went back to where I started.  I wanted to understand the energy field.  I went to see an energy healer.  She repaired my energy field and helped to reconnect me with my life's purpose.  But my consciousness had become separated from my body when I was a child.  I took ballroom dancing lessons in an attempt to re-establish the connection.  The dancing lessons helped, but the connection didn't stick.  My energy healer suggested a book called "Healing Trauma" by Peter Levine.  This book was a step by step guide designed to reconnect my consciousness to my body.  It was profound.  I realized I'd been numb my whole life.

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I continued to study all the ways to describe our universe and our place in it.  After 6 years, I have consumed hundreds of books.  I have found peace with my past and I have become a completely different person.  No longer do I seek out abuse.  I removed all of the abusive people from my life and I started over.  I continued to meditate and found ways to communicate with my higher self.

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To my dismay, life did not get better.  In fact, it got much worse.  I searched for ways to make it better.  I tried to find a new job.  I made friendships.  I went out into the world and looked for connection.  But the more I searched, the worse my situation became.  

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In the worst financial mess of my life, I began to realize that I had tried everything but to walk my path and fulfill my purpose.  The universe wanted me to share all I'd learned.  Not only that, the universe wanted me to share my life's work, the project that I'd kept hidden from everyone - a model for an alternate society that is not reliant on a debt-based economic system.  A transition from life as we know it to a life less busy, less brutal, less divided.

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This website, this blog, the videos that I create - they are all in support of my purpose.  I want to help the humans I interact with to see that we are all the same, deep down, beneath all the layers of life and trauma and distraction.  I seek to unify our understanding of the world and show the similarities between the many explanations.  I invite you to explore and engage with an open mind and an open heart.  Please understand that I do this despite a fear of being known.  Please be kind!​