Conquering Fear

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The world has become a place that is difficult to understand.  When times are uncertain, as they are now, it is easy to feel afraid.

What is fear, but apprehension towards the unknown?  When life cannot be predicted, when habit is interrupted, what can we do?

The answer is to learn, to seek out information, to think through and practice what you would do should a situation present itself.

Facing you fears is not easy.  Not every fear has to be faced at the same time.  Some fears, most in fact, will never come to pass.  Nonetheless, sometimes it is good to make a plan and prepare accordingly for an all but certain reckoning as we have never seen before.

No one wants to speak it out loud, but what if the government dissolved, the dollar ceased to exist, and the internet and cellular communications were cut off?

What would you do?  What do you expect to happen?  How long would you last?  Are you prepared?  Or are you living paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by?  How do you prepare in that situation?

These ideas are frightening, heart-stopping, terrifying.  I hope these nightmare situations we imagine in our minds do not ever happen.

As much as we do not want to think about these things, isn’t it better to have a plan?  Having that conversation, writing it out, however you process it, do that.  Freak out now, while you can still do something about it.

Not all of preparing is about spending money or stockpiling supplies.  A lot of preparation goes into planning and getting to know the people around you.

This fad of airing one’s opinion loud and proud has caused us to fear each other.  It is easy to get caught up in the rhetoric.  You hear an argument that supports your viewpoint, you repeat the argument, then it snowballs.

You argued your viewpoint, but why does that matter so much?  Why do you have to be right?  If you really sat down and picked apart all of these opinions, how many of them are based on a fear of the unknown?  How many are based on misinformation you wanted to believe?

In times like these, we need to learn to look past our opinions and come together and find our way through.  There is another side to it, we just can’t see it yet.  It hasn’t been decided.

That other side is uncertain.  Are we going to destroy each other?  Or are we going to come together and build something new?  Do we give that ambiguous “them” the power, or do we retain autonomy and support each other through a tough transition?

We really need to talk about this now.  Let’s talk through our fears.  Let’s make plans to come together.  Plan a neighborhood event, talk to your neighbors.  If you live in an apartment, host a monthly meet up in the party room, if there is one.  Find a way to get to know each other now.  Build trusting relationships now.  Extend the olive branch and make amends now.  Be brave and make a new friend now.

Remember your moral code.  It isn’t okay to hurt someone, to sabotage them, to compromise their safety.  If someone encourages you to do something that feels wrong, it probably is wrong.  Don’t follow blindly.

The last thing anyone wants is for people to feel desperate and trapped.  That is when tensions rise and bad things happen.  Look to your community for the answer.  Get to know one another.  Learn to love each other, rather than to fear the unknown.

Always remember, there is another side to all of this.  Governments fall and people survive to build a new life.  It is the way of the world.  Any time power is hoarded and rewarded, there will be a rise and fall.  Our job is to find another way.  Let us break the cycle.

How do you begin to build community?  There are so many ways.  If you need ideas, I have plenty of them.  I know someone who is an EXPERT at building community.  In the beginning, however, it can be daunting to take those first steps.

Start small.  Hold the door open for someone.  Hold the elevator for that person running for it.  Pick up the dropped item and return it to its owner.  Help someone who is struggling to carry something.  Wave at that person you always see walking their dog when you leave for work.

It might seem insignificant, but these small gestures have a ripple effect.  Today your waving, next week you’re calling hello, before you know it, you’re stopping to chat and give the dog a pat on the head.

We’re so afraid of each other, but we needn’t be.  Do we really feel our opinions all the time?  Can’t we just set them aside, just for the time being, and try to give someone a chance?

Don’t talk about politics or current events.  Talk about what is right in front of you.  The adorable dog, the beautiful flowers, how gad you are to have made a new friend, share a recipe, plan to meet up at the farmer’s market, go for a walk together.  Don’t wait for national night out to get together.  Celebrate the garden harvest, back to school, midsummer, the first day without snow.

Be kind.  Be patient.  Be magnanimous.  Be generous with your time.  Don’t rush so much.  Not all of preparation is about hard things.  Some things are really quite fun!

When you’re ready to talk about what comes next, I will be here, ready and waiting.  Don’t be shy, reach out!  We tend to put people on pedestals, but we are all just people.  The richest or most famous person is still just a human at the end of the day.

Always remember, the power is in the people.  There are far too many of us to control.  “They” only have as much power as we give them.  Let us stop being afraid of one another and start building a community.